The Yes Dad, Part 1 (or in SEO speak: Advice for Dads)

My own father had an expression he used at times to let me know that he thought I was “alright.” He’d pronounce it in the car when it was just the two of us, or occasionally out of the blue for no reason that I could determine. He’d say, “Handsome boy, intelligent boy!” and it made me feel great until I eventually realized that this was the only compliment in his vocabulary, at which point it began to sound a bit stale. And I’m certain that someone, probably his mother, said the same thing to him often and it had great meaning for him. But his eyes and his mannerisms towards me so often conveyed love and approval that I never felt he was at all deficient in that regard (or really, in any meaningful regard).

So when I wanted to put Mr. Roger’s “I like you just the way you are” mantra into effect with my own children, I didn’t want to trot out some stale compliment from another era, I wanted something that was uniquely our own…and I made a little game out of it. I’d go into each boys room in the morning and say something like, “Have a told you today what a great kid you are?” or “Have I told you today how proud I am to be your father?” And you can play this game at night before bed, too. “Hey, did I forget to tell you today what a great kid you are?” This could be overdone and you want to watch that the phrasing doesn’t become rote, but my kids loved it and I think it contributed to giving them both confidence and positive self esteem.